Teenage son talks to self

2017-10-14 20:01:39

My son talks to himself, often in the shower, and stops when I'm aware of it.

He is 17, and in a demanding program in college.

He is elite, he is on the rowing team and the debate club. He doesn't do drugs or alcohol, and signs up for every math, French and every whenever-there-is contest. He keeps his marks high. He taught math for a few years starting when he was 12. He is also attractive. His peers and teachers like him and teachers make reference to his skills and generosity.

He is guarded, rarely telling me or his father anything. He stays in his room but converses with someone (seen from phone records). This talking to himself and the fact he never tells us anything is troubling.

This has been going on for a few years. I think I may also think aloud myself.

Why would he do this?

Holding internal monologues and dialogues is something that I would guess is quite common. Vocalising them too. I do it myself a lot, especially to exercise arguments I have for

  • Holding internal monologues and dialogues is something that I would guess is quite common. Vocalising them too. I do it myself a lot, especially to exercise arguments I have for my opinions. And yes, this I never do when people are around. :D

    In fact, I just caught myself reading out this reply quietly to myself as I wrote it. I also found myself matching much else of his "profile" as described by you, save for looks.

    I would not worry about this unless you have seen other indicators on unhealth. Talking when alone is not that, at least not on its own.

    2017-10-14 20:35:05
  • Talking to yourself is normal. It's called intrapersonal communication.

    Studies suggest that people talk to themselves perform better on some tasks. For example one study found that people were able to find an item quicker when they repeated the name of the item themselves.

    So the fact that he talks to himself shouldn't be worrying in himself, and infact might help explain his high level of ability.

    On the other hand, he could face social criticism for doing it. On this point, I'd suggest allowing him to adjust himself accordingly, rather than preemptively shaming him for something that isn't a problem.

    2017-10-14 20:51:25
  • As a person that is "smarter then the average bear" I can tell you right now, that it can be very difficult to talk with normal people. That may be all there is to this. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AvgrXf3tQAM

    So the fact that he has a small set of friends and talks to himself is not that unusual. I still talk to my self all the time.

    The troubling part is this:

    He is guarded, rarely telling me or his father anything. He stays in his room but converses with someone (seen from phone records). This talking to himself and the fact he never tells us anything is troubling.

    Being a teenager this is fairly common, but at the same time you need to keep trying to reach out and have conversations. Try staying away from the "parent" conversations. Instead find another topic to talk about. Talk with him like you would a co-worker. Ask about his feelings on the up coming election, or about city policies. Try a conversations (gossip) about people at work. The idea is to stay away (in

    2017-10-14 21:04:32
  • Too relevant to be less than a comment:

    "rubber ducking" (a bit of psychological phenomenon)

    An opinion, that vocally presenting your own counsel leads to more "in tune" outcomes. You already know what needs to be done, but the struggle is real.

    "should I do this...or that?". we've all faced this before, and especially when we face very real risk and reward. You've said that this individual is on top of his game, the world is his oyster, and handsome to boot. that's the result of skill, determination, hard work, and dedication, and good grooming (plus a good roll of the dice). Who can he relate to? He gives himself guidance, pep talks, and keeps himself on the right track. He sounds very responsible. He likely stops when approached because, well, since you're asking in concern, of course it seems "weird" to do such a thing. The proof of why he stops is right here. would you continue talking to yourself while others gather?

    Why not ask him directly if he is alright, if he

    2017-10-14 21:37:40